I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
