My hand turned me down
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
