Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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