We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize