No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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