You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
