@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Randomize
