I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
