i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
