he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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