theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
