You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
