Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
