Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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