You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
