Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
