You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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