Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
