I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
