soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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