So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
