If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
