Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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