You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
