"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize