I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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