Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize