Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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