I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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