I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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