Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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