My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize
