ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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