i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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