I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
