Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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