I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
