that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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