So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize