he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
