i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
