You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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