so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
