I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just found puke in my bra..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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