She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
How external is "for external use only"?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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