Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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