Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
