Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
