I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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