Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
