i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
