remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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