with your own penis?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
