I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize