____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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