carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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