Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
