accomplished twins. life is a go
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
