I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
my liver is dry heaving
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
