Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
