so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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