He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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