One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
