Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
