Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
