i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
