This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
