GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
