What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
