We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
