I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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