dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's shark week go big or go home
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
