Small penises have feelings too.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
