Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
