literally had 100 drinks last night.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
