girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
