WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
